Sitting in his folding chair, absorbing God's wonderful sunshine, he notices some grass getting too close to his roses. He decides he will go to the shed and get the hoe after he rests for a minute. Nope, he better do it now, before he forgets. The walk to the shed is a familiar one. He has walked that walk thousands of times. So many early mornings, before the sun came up, cows waiting to be milked, then back to the house for breakfast before he started on the fence or the fields. Now where was he going? Those plum trees sure do look pretty, but need to get those weeds out from around them. The old dairy barn needs a new roof. Maybe it can be done next year. What was he going to the shed for? When did it get to be so far from the house to the shed? Go on Max, you gonna make me fall. That old dog wasn't good for nothing but to get in the way, but he sure was pretty. Sitting down on his work stool, he tried to remember what he came out here for. It was getting awfully hard to remember things these days.
Wake up! Wake up! The phone is ringing and Mama ain't here to answer it. "Hello. What do you want? Who the hell is this?" Slamming the phone down he heads for the bathroom. That dang medicine makes you have to go and go and go. He can't go anywhere anymore because of the dang medicine. Finally, back in his chair to finish his nap. Who was that on the phone? Blasted con men are always calling trying to get you. You can't trust anybody anymore!
"Can you rub my arm? It aches like a toothache. Not that arm, what are you rubbing that arm for? It don't hurt. It's the other arm." These people are idiots. Always trying to get me to do what they want me to do. All I want to do is stay right here and everybody leave me alone. "You tell that damn doctor I am not going back to that hospital. Hell, they try to kill you up there and I am not taking that medicine anymore."
Dementia is hard on everyone - the patient, the caregiver, the frequent visitor, even the doctor. It doesn't matter what stage the dementia patient is in, these people can no longer control where their minds wander. They say and do things they would have never done before. Patience and understanding is suppose to be the key. Do you have the answer?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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Love is the answer, because patience is short when you deal with dementia. You and I have both lost other loved ones to it, and it is hard to look at an adult who once took care of you and now can't do for themselves. They should remember, they should know, they should be able to do that thing, whatever it is, but they can't anymore. For all those reasons,the patience is hard, but to just love them is easy!
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